Before I slept last night, I gave my husband a random question for him to reflect about our marriage. I love engaging in a meaningful conversation with him because I can sense that he always takes my questions seriously and he provides honest answers too. I asked him about his insights and realization about how we are in the past as couples and how it affected our relationship in our married life. He paused for a moment, trying to organize his thoughts. He normally does that whenever I ask him something. This was his response:
MON: I’ve realized that we can’t judge our partner’s attitude based on our first impression about them and on how they behaved during the first few years of the relationship. (I know he was referring to me but he never used the word YOU on his statement and I wasn’t sure why☺ ). Changing to be better than our previous self is always possible, but it doesn’t mean that we need to force our partners to change. Instead, we need to show them and inspire them to be better. I’ve also realized, that loving someone means accepting the whole package, be it the positive or the negative aspect of our partner. When we accept and love someone, they become a part or us, part of us that we will always cherish, serve and protect forever.(awww)😘
Then he looked at me and threw me the same question. I was in a state of exaltation when I heard his answers. I wasn’t expecting him to be that vocal with his emotions with me that night. It was just a random question that popped out of my sleepy head, but then I got this sincere, heartfelt blast of emotional answers. The feeling was like winning a lottery. Wohoo!
When it was my turn to answer the question, I wasn’t able to answer it right away. I was still carried over by my emotions. Phew! So, this is my answer.
ME: One of the lesson that I’ve learned as a wife, is that whatever you do to your partner will also have an impact on you. Like for example, if we resort to using our anger to get things done, we unintentionally hurt them. There is a tendency for them to hurt us too as their defense mechanism to protect their ego. If we decide to shower them with kindness, they will respond to our actions showing the love that we provide them.
He was the one who ended my explanation with a quote” YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW”. A simplified form of what I was trying to say.
I wasn’t really planning to have a heart to heart talk with him. The question that I asked him just came out naturally from my mouth without even thinking about it. I guess, the chatty wife side of mine can sometimes bring me to a situation that surprises me often. It’s good to engage in an honest discussion with our spouse from time to time, so we can gauge on how we are doing as his/her better half. We can share and evaluate what are the things that we can improve on, habits that we badly need to stop and things that we need to continue doing as a couple. Isn’t it amazing on how an honest conversation can help both couples?
How about you? How many times do you get the chance to have a hearty talk with your spouse? Try it and you’ll be amazed with their confessions.
Goodnight beautiful world☺